Roll the Tape

Graphic from faa.gov

If you’ve been paying attention to the news, you’ve probably seen or heard about the rise in unruly airline passengers. Basically, road rage and bad manners have taken flight. If you’re uncertain about the seriousness of this problem, be assured the FAA is paying attention. (https://www.faa.gov/data_research/passengers_cargo/unruly_passengers/)

So what is the implication for you? Improperly comply or refuse an instruction, get mouthy or lay a hand on an airline employee before the flight leaves the ground, you will be escorted off the airplane, you will be banned from that carrier, probably face a stiff fine, and maybe find yourself doing some jail time. If your uncontrollable urge strikes after the aircraft is airborne, it gets a little more fun. As recent reports bear out, you will probably be involuntarily restrained in your seat until a law enforcement officer escorts you to a jail cell. The popular restraint method right now is duct tape. Why tape? It’s a handy “less than lethal” way to prevent passengers from acting out. It also doesn’t pose any kind of risk to the airplane or crew and it doesn’t require a permit or permission to carry it in your luggage or take it across international borders.

What is the implication for the airline and its employees? Restraining a person against their will is serious business. Under current guidelines, the flight crew, and assisting passengers, are generally permitted to detain hazardous persons on the Captain’s authority. The Captain has the final say and is responsible for the safety and disposition of those persons. In other words, the Captain is the mayor, judge, and sheriff of the aluminum tube in the sky. The Captain is also on the hook for what ever happens thereafter.

So far, everything has worked out in these cases, but what happens in an emergency? Imagine a detained passenger suffers an acute medical condition while taped to his seat. There you are in 33D and the guy duct taped to 33C is moaning “I can’t breath!” for 8-10 minutes before passing out. Who makes the call to provide aid or not? Who takes the fall if he suffers injury or death because of his restrained condition? You, the passenger who helped hold him down while another fellow traveller rolled out the tape? The flight attendant who provided the tape? The Captain who authorized it? The airline or the FAA? Will there be civil or criminal legal action?

Now imagine a different scenario. The aircraft suffers a malfunction. Maybe an engine part fails, causing a rapid decompression. Who’s in charge of putting the oxygen mask on the guy in 33C? Maybe the flight attendant asked you to be in charge of that task, and you can’t get it on him before he passes out. What happens next?

One more bit of hypothetical before leaving the subject, what happens in an emergency evacuation? For example, you have the good fortune to be riding with another Cap’n Sully, and the jet makes a hasty “water landing.” The fuselage remains largely intact, the doors still open, the slide/rafts all hold air, the crew is directing traffic and everybody’s got their life vest on and hustling to the door. Except the guy in 33C. He’s still duct taped to his seat. The tail is sinking faster than the tape can be peeled off, assuming somebody stuck around to do the peeling. Why can’t the flight attendant cut him free? Oh, that’s right, there’s no sharp things in the cabin.

The bottom line is this isn’t a good place to be, for the detainee, the crew, or the helpers. The airlines and the FAA don’t have comprehensive procedures for the chain of custody, and the courts haven’t dealt with a case like this yet, but don’t worry, it’s coming. In the meantime, there is something you can do!

Arrive early and keep your expectations low, that way you won’t be surprised or disappointed.

Don’t indulge in intoxicating substances before or during the flight.

Be polite to everybody.

Wear a mask so nobody can see your lips moving or hear you cursing under your breath.

Carry your own duct tape. That way, you can jump right in when things get interesting, or fix the busted window shade or the zipper on your suitcase after security gets done with it.

If all this sounds too crazy, drive or taking flying lessons.