The Gladiator Deuce
Over Thanksgiving weekend, with a few days off and not so much to do after the bird and trimmings, The Captain and I went to the movies. Specifically, an IMAX showing of Gladiator II, the wildly hyped Ridley Scott directed sequel to Gladiator (released way back in 2000.) The movie ran 148 minutes with an R rating. The soda was cold, the popcorn was hot and buttery, and the biggest screen theater was 3/4 full, maybe more. That was kind of neat to see. Maybe theaters will survive after all, but it won’t be on the strength of the current Hollywood writers and producers. Why? The movie was unoriginal and not that great. (For a refresher on how movies are ranked, go to this review.) I haven’t seen Gladiator in over a decade, and probably don’t recall a lot of the detail, but I’m going with “that’s a good thing.” Comparing side-by-side might not work out so well for the deuce.
Before frame one was projected on the screen, Gladiator II was marked down for being a sequel. To get the best score, a movie’s got to be a new idea. It also got marked down for ridiculous use of computer generated images. It wasn’t even ten minutes into the movie before there was a gross CGI battle scene between Roman galleys and a fixed fortification. It violated the willing suspension of disbelief so much I wrote off the rest of the experience as a high priced cartoon. It met my expectation. Riding a CGI cartoon saddled rhinoceros in the Coliseum, and pretending it was well-executed movie making? Not for these eyes. There was no reason the story couldn’t be told with “practical” stunts and effects. I will say the acting was pretty good, especially the part where Denzel Washington played the part of Denzel Washington.
The story could have been so good, with historical accuracy and drama, but they went for the over-blown comic book action instead. On my scale of 1 to 4, where 1 is “don’t bother” and 4 is “it’s worth full price,” this film is a solid 2, “wait for home release.”
When The Captain and I took our first grade child to The Eternal City, he kept a journal that better reflected the actual Roman experience and excelled the CGI in this movie. Better luck next time Hollywood.