Sounds of Morning
Everybody’s got a pet peeve. I have several, and over the last few months I’ve developed a new one. Music, played at loud volume over inappropriate speakers, at a time that is best enjoyed with the sounds God intended. Here’s an example.
It is the daily habit of our dog to have a morning stroll somewhere around sunrise. Being just a dog, the beast is not legally permitted to visit the local green spaces alone, so I am tasked with escort duty. Our early morning wandering takes us to a half dozen local parks where we spend 45-60 minutes in brisk walking, occasional sprints, jettisoning of waste matter, and copious sniffing. Along the way, we’ll encounter other dogs, squirrels, chipmunks, skunks, groundhogs, raccoons, water foul and all manner of humans. It is, as usual, the humans that make the morning memorable.
With the arrival of spring in the heartland, the human ritual of shedding winter weight has begun. The resolution keepers who’ve made it this far into the year are pretty serious about it. There are walkers, some joggers, a couple of cyclists, and occasional odd fellows who seem to be following some kind of “fusion fitness.” Unfortunately, some of our new friends bring with them a need for “inspiration.”
There is a young couple in one of the west riverbank parks who have a little bluetooth speaker that mucks up the morning sounds with a tragically distorted rhythm track to which they do exercises that don’t actually require timing. Like planking or lunges. Another couple brings a similarly inadequate speaker and a camera so they can live stream to their online fitness class. I’ve spoken to them about the class and they assure me it is quite popular. I don’t begrudge them their entrepreneurial efforts, but why do they have to wreck the sounds of birds chirping for a hundred feet around them?
Taking the noisy fitness class to the next level, a fitness instructor formed a pandemic inspired in-person class in a parking lot on the other side of the river. The participants arrive in their cars at 0757, roaring in for the 0800 class, where the instructor has a multi-speaker system blaring pop dance tunes for a hundred yards around them. To make matters worse, the instructor’s un-amplified voice is louder than the music and can be heard much further away. By the time the class is over, the only wildlife around are the vultures waiting to pick over the remains of the unfortunate attendees.
The worst of all, however, is the lone stationary cyclist at the University’s women’s rowing facility. The solitary bike is rolled out from the boat storage area and the building’s sound system is cranked up. It is audible for a third of a mile in all directions. Unfortunately for the lovers of peace and quiet, the speakers are of high quality and the Lady Gaga and Ariana Grande tracks are completely undistorted. (The dog had to tell me who the performers are, because I’m not really connected with the top 40 music scene.)
I guess the bottom line is I can’t wait for these folks to either give up or move back into their fitness factories. I miss the uninterrupted sounds of the wind in the trees, quacking of the ducks, and the splashing of the Canada geese fleeing from the dog into the river.